First Do No Harm Page 4

  “That’s a joke, right?”

  “Tell me. How am I like her?”

  “For starters, you look alike.”

  Pierce chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Please. That’s just because people think all of us butches look alike.”

  “Honey. Trust me. You do not all look alike.” Rowan laughed. “Besides, you clearly have her same annoying stubbornness, her intensity, and her charm. Considering you two hardly knew each other most of your lives, it’s absolutely fascinating.”

  “Well, I suppose there are worse things than being compared to the great Dr. Galen Burgess.” Pierce’s cheeks flushed.

  “Much, much worse.”

  “I wish I had her luck with girls though…” Pierce mumbled the words before she had time to wish she hadn’t.

  “What do you mean?” Rowan put a friendly hand on her shoulder.

  “Nothing. Just, this online-dating thing is kicking my ass.”

  Rowan sighed. “Ah, dating. I’d actually dare say it’s the worst thing in the entire world. Not getting far, huh?”

  “Not exactly, no. A lot of duds. Jesus, when did I get so picky?”

  “Picky is good. Picky is discerning. Listen. I don’t have a lot of dating experience myself. But you know who does?”

  Pierce laughed and nodded her head. “My cousin?”

  “You have no idea the number of women she went through before I came around. I bet she’d have some words of wisdom for you. Why don’t you come over tonight after your shift? I’ll pick up some takeout on the way home, and you two can chat.”

  “I…I don’t know, Rowan. I don’t want to be a burden. I feel like I’m over there a lot. And I know you and Galen don’t have a lot of time to yourselves with your schedules.” But Pierce wanted the company of her family more than anything.

  “Stop that. You are never a burden. You’re coming over. End of discussion. Now, tell me about this patient you have for me.”

  Pierce realized Rowan wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, and she liked that. Rowan seemed to care about her. Because she cared about Galen. Pierce only wished she could find anything close to that kind of love.

  “Jackson. He’s in room 5. He’d had this ventral hernia for years, but today it started causing him pain for the first time, and I couldn’t reduce it. His lactate is up, so I’m a little worried. Do you mind taking a look at him for me?”

  “Of course not.”

  Pierce knew Rowan was a third-year resident now and probably unlikely to be doing much in the way of simple ER consults. She had a feeling Galen had sent her down to check on Pierce. And suddenly, all the bad dates in the world seemed bearable when she had people like Galen and Rowan in her life.

  * * *

  Pierce left for Galen and Rowan’s immediately after her shift ended. She’d been in Boston only a few months, but she already had a key to their apartment and felt comfortable enough to let herself in. Galen had assured her that she could come over any time, day or night. It didn’t matter if they were home or not. Somehow, that gave Pierce a sense of security she hadn’t realized she needed.

  “Hey,” Pierce said, pushing open the heavy door.

  “Hey. Ro told me you’d be coming by.” Galen appeared from down the hall in a pair of basketball shorts and a worn Yale sweatshirt.

  “I hope it’s okay.”

  “You know it’s always okay. Besides, I got the impression she sort of didn’t give you much of a choice in the matter.”

  Pierce laughed. “Does she do that a lot?”

  “All the time.” Galen smiled and took her coat. “Come in. She’ll be home with dinner any minute now.”

  They moved into the living room and sat on parallel chairs.

  “Drink?” Galen asked.

  “What do you have?”

  “What are you into?”

  “Mostly whiskey. Bourbon in particular. But I like an occasional scotch. And beer is fine too.”

  Galen grinned. “You’re a bourbon drinker, huh?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Wait right there.”

  Galen returned two minutes later with two clear tumblers, filled about an inch with an amber liquid, no ice.

  “What’s that?” Pierce asked.

  “This, my friend, is fucking bourbon. Pappy Old Van Winkle. 1989.” Galen brought the glass to her nose and inhaled, closing her eyes.

  “Jesus. Doesn’t this stuff cost, like, two hundred dollars an ounce or something?”

  “Three hundred and fifteen.” Galen took a long, slow sip. “It was a gift from my Dad when I became an attending.”

  “Don’t you want to save it? For a special occasion or something?”

  “Whatever.” Galen waved her hand dismissively. “You can’t take it with you, right?”

  Pierce nodded thoughtfully.

  “I mean that, though. All this shit?” Galen gestured to the representations of overwhelming wealth and success that adorned the apartment. “This is just shit.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s nice fucking shit.”

  “Sure, it is. The cars, the house, the expensive suits, the rare whiskey—I’m grateful for it all. But that’s not what matters.”

  Pierce felt a lecture coming on. “Is this where you tell me how what matters is love and friendship and family and memories and all that?”

  “Yes!” Galen rubbed her temple thoughtfully. “Seriously though, Pierce. Before Ro, I had money. I had all this stuff. But it was just stuff. My life was my work. I didn’t realize how unfulfilling that was until I finally fell in love.”

  “You know, we can’t all be so lucky to find what you and Rowan have.”

  “I get that. And I understand what you’re feeling, because I felt the same way. I honestly believed I was going to be stuck with meaningless flings and one-night stands for the rest of my life.”

  “Yeah, well, I can’t even find one of those,” Pierce shot back. She hadn’t meant for the words to come out so snarled.

  “Rowan told me the online-dating thing isn’t going well.”

  “It’s awful. I’m telling you. Do you know what I’d give to have someone like Rowan to come home to every night? Someone to laugh at my jokes and take care of me when I’m sick. Someone I want to learn to cook for and spend my holidays with.” Pierce was bringing herself further and further down the more she spoke.

  “That’s the dream, isn’t it? And you will find it. You will. You just have to be patient.”

  “I am being patient!”

  Galen laughed. “You have the patience of a Burgess, my friend.”

  Pierce continued pouting for a moment, and then her mouth gradually rose into a small smile, until she was laughing too. “You’re right. Patience isn’t my thing.”

  “Mine either. But I’m telling you, it will happen for you. You’ll meet her.”

  “I hope you’re right.” But Pierce found herself trusting Galen in a way she wasn’t expecting.

  “Tell me about what happened with this other girl then. The one who forced you out of Atlanta.”

  “Katie.” Pierce felt the familiar grip around her heart whenever she said her name still. “She crushed me. Twice, actually. And I let it happen.”

  “Don’t blame yourself. We’ve all been there.”

  Pierce raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I bet you never have.”

  “I’ve been hurt like that before.” Galen’s blue eyes grew slightly darker, until they were the color of cold ocean water.

  “Really? By whom?” Pierce found it impossible to believe anyone had ever dared break the heart of her impenetrable cousin.

  “Rowan, actually…”

  “I…” Pierce was suddenly struck silent, not wanting to push what could have been a tremendously touchy subject.

  “It’s okay. It was a long time ago. But when we first started dating, Rowan actually broke up with me to get back with her boyfriend.”

  “No way.”

  “Really. In fact, they were even engaged for a
ll of five minutes.”

  “I’d never believe that now. You two are like, all the relationship goals. Seriously.”

  Galen laughed. “She quickly realized the error of her ways, and we got back together. And the rest is all happily-ever-after. But my point is, Pierce, don’t let your past define you. What this girl did to you was horrible, and it hurt like hell, I’m sure, but it doesn’t predict your future.”

  Pierce hadn’t fully realized how much of her ability to trust Katie had taken with her when she left. And she immediately cursed her again for continuing to do damage in the life she’d so easily discarded.

  Chapter Four

  As she fixed her hair in the mirror for the third time, Pierce thought she should probably stop trying so hard. In spite of Galen’s advice to “just be patient,” so many of her first dates lately had ended at just that—a first date. And, to be honest, Pierce hadn’t had sex in so long she thought she’d probably combust if she didn’t touch another human being soon. Maybe it was purely the prospect of sex, or intimacy, or at the very least, a decent first kiss, that led Pierce to continue to make the effort. Especially tonight. She’d been talking to Victoria for over a week now. In fact, they’d been talking nearly all day, from the time Pierce’s alarm went off until she finally passed out at night. Given, it were only text messages, but it resembled a connection. They seemed to have a lot in common. And Victoria had a sense of self and individuality that Pierce found attractive. She dared even think this was the first time since Katie she’d been truly excited about a first date.

  Pierce arrived at the bar early, fluctuating between usual first-date jitters (which usually meant the strong desire to turn around and leave) and the buzz of possibility. Victoria arrived exactly on time. She looked like her photos—a strong but pretty face set behind strong cheek bones and eyes as intense as Pierce’s. Victoria wasn’t the archetype of the “hot” girl Pierce usually found herself drawn to, but she was attractive in her own unique way, and Pierce was intrigued.

  “Hi!” Victoria smiled, and Pierce noted a hint of trouble behind her expression that she liked.

  “Hi there.” They hugged, and immediately Pierce felt a sense of ease she didn’t usually experience so early on.

  “I’m really glad we’re finally getting to do this.” Victoria sat down beside her and took off her coat.

  “Me too. We’ve been talking so much I feel like I already know you, which is great, considering how much I hate the awkwardness of first dates.”

  “They are the worst! Seriously. I just want to skip ahead to the part where we watch Netflix and hang out with our cats.”

  Pierce laughed, her shoulders relaxing out of her ears, reminding her how nervous she’d actually been. “Same.”

  The conversation flowed instantly and easily, which was a tremendous relief to Pierce, considering the uncomfortable silences were always her least favorite part of getting to know someone. Something about silence made Pierce squirm and desperately search for something to fill it with. But Victoria was a talker. And so was Pierce. It worked. For two hours they discussed their families and their hometowns, Pierce sipping a Makers on the rocks while Victoria giggled from the buzz of a couple of glasses of wine. They had chemistry, no doubt. Not the life-changing, blow-you-clear-out-of-your-sneakers chemistry, but it was there nonetheless. And Pierce hadn’t experienced much chemistry lately.

  “Want to get out of here?” Victoria had inched closer to Pierce as the night went on, her knee now pressed against Pierce’s thigh.

  “Absolutely.”

  Although the winter was more or less behind them, the biting New England cold still hung in the air, even in early April. Victoria wore a long down coat with a fur hood that Pierce found adorable, and as they walked through the nearby park, Pierce pretended not to be freezing in only her thin, canvas jacket. Pierce found little reasons to touch Victoria, putting a hand on her back when she laughed or brushing her arm. It had been so long since she’d had anything even resembling affection, and it felt good. Really good. On her first date with Katie, Pierce had known nearly instantly that she wanted her. Maybe it was her impulsive nature, or just her intuition, but when Pierce knew, she knew. And it was very clear that night that she did not know about Victoria.

  Still, she was enjoying herself. The nearby city lights flushed the night sky with yellow hues, and a mild wind occasionally breezed past. A hint of spring in the air promised something good to come. Seasons weren’t the same in Georgia, and Pierce had forgotten how much she’d missed them. They strolled through a deserted playground, Victoria laughing as she sat on a nearby swing. Pierce sat next to her and pumped her legs back and forth like a child. As they fought to get as high and as fast as they could, they laughed louder, until a feeling Pierce hadn’t had in a long time engulfed her—joy.

  Victoria waited until she built up as much momentum as possible and gracefully shot off the swing, landing effortlessly on her feet in a way that made Pierce think she must have been a dancer at some point. Pierce, never known for her grace or coordination, attempted the same. Her timing a millisecond off, she flew through the air, catching her toes on the grass and tumbling in some drunken version of a somersault.

  “Oh my God! Are you alright?” Victoria rushed to Pierce’s side, where she sat, momentarily stunned, holding her right ankle.

  “I…I think I sprained my ankle.” They were silent for a moment, and then Pierce began to laugh, Victoria joining her until they were rolling on the ground in hysterics, holding their bellies and crying.

  “That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Really.” Victoria could hardly contain herself. “Are you sure you’re okay? Can you walk on it?”

  “Hey, I’m the PA here, remember?” Pierce was teasing but realized she wasn’t sure she could actually walk.

  “Should we go to the hospital?”

  “No! Really, it’s nothing.” Pierce stood slowly. The subtle pain that had been idling around the outer aspect of her ankle built into a crescendo, and she fought off the grimace she knew her face was making. The last thing she wanted was for Victoria to have to spend their first date in the ER because Pierce couldn’t stick the landing off a stupid kids’ swing.

  “It doesn’t look like nothing.”

  “Look. I can walk.” Pierce gently put her foot down.

  “You think you’re pretty tough, don’t you?” Victoria stepped closer to Pierce until Pierce could feel the heat coming from Victoria’s full mouth. It had been a while, but Pierce still remembered exactly what this was.

  “I know I’m pretty tough.” She grinned, allowing her lips to part slightly. Pierce felt out the tempo of the moment, allowing just enough silence to pass before leaning closer, slowly but with conviction, and brushing her lips against Victoria’s. Their mouths fumbled against the other, each one’s rhythm slightly off, as Pierce ran a hand through Victoria’s hair. In a few seconds, it was over. The hint of chemistry was still there. And it was a nice kiss. Pierce didn’t feel like she would spontaneously combust, but still, she was ready for it to happen again.

  As they pulled apart, Pierce smiled, and Victoria giggled. There is a moment, and Pierce couldn’t help but remember this, after every great first kiss. That moment your lips finally separate, but it’s like a magnet is still trying to pull them back together. You stay just inches apart, your eyes closed, barely breathing. Every muscle in your body seems to let go at once, and you actually feel your knees shake a little. Your heart beating in your ears is the only thing reminding you this is real. Neither of you can speak. Then, you finally open your eyes, and you see it on their face too. And you know. You just know.

  This was not that kiss. But Pierce realized that kind of kiss was exceedingly rare. And “nice” was hard enough to find these days. She kissed Victoria again, as if to see if that elusive moment was just late to show. But it wasn’t.

  “Come on. Let’s call a cab and get you home.” Victoria wrapped an arm around Pierce’s wa
ist as Pierce limped toward the street, feeling like her luck might have finally changed.

  * * *

  Dr. Cassidy Sullivan hated firsts. She hated first days of school, first days of work, first dates, first everything. A true introvert with a tendency for routine, Cassidy ate breakfast at the same café every morning (alone), sat on the same bike in spin class, called her mom at the same time every week, and woke up at the same time nearly every day. Being an emergency-medicine resident, she’d found this level of routine particularly difficult lately. But she’d managed, at least until her residency program at a small teaching hospital in Rhode Island went up in smoke and her entire life had scattered like Boston street trash.

  Now, she was forced to start over, before even the end of her first year, at a new hospital, in a new city, where she knew absolutely no one. It wasn’t even July yet. It wasn’t like she could start with the other second years and at least pretend some degree of normalcy. When her program director was caught laundering money from major donors, her residency program had been shut down. And that was that.

  It was her first shift at Boston City Hospital, and Cassidy was fully prepared to hate it. She had spent her morning with one of the senior residents, whose name she believed was Bryce or Brent or Brad, who asked her what she “wanted to work on today.”

  What I want to work on, Cassidy told herself, is surviving this fucking place.

  The next patient she had to see was a twenty-eight-year-old with an ankle injury. Without bothering to check in with anyone, Cassidy picked up the chart and ventured down the hall to find the patient. This task was always much more daunting than it should be, considering the hallways were usually lined with at least ten patients, and none of them were physically where their charts had them listed. After scanning the many beds, she decided that it probably wasn’t the older woman with gray hair gripping her flank or the man with no teeth singing to himself. Somewhere in the middle of the line was a woman with short, dark hair and eyes that were both stubborn and inviting. She wore scrubs and fidgeted on the stretcher. Truth be told, if Cassidy hadn’t been forced to search for Pierce Parker in the sea of patients, she still would have inevitably noticed her. Pierce was attractive. Very attractive. And Cassidy would have picked her out in nearly any crowd.